Back Home, and here to stay :)

What a crazy few months this has been. I have learned a great deal about myself, about God, and life just seems so different.... or maybe I just look at it different.

Back in June, I decided I needed change, and I saw circumstances in my life contributing the need. After the Eto House sold, and Ali and I not finding the right house situation for us both, and my job giving me less hours, and not finding anything, then there was the just broken up with Mike.... I was a wreck. I took space at the right time. The circumstances were right. I went to San Diego thinking.... I can do this for a year, see if the job market is better... heck I have friends down there.... and well... it was an experience. Friends who seemed excited for me to be there could never make the time and yet would make it a point to say we should get together.... yeah... never happened. But in that I had a lot of time to really think through things, and just learn to be more comfortable with myself, and see things in my life and who I am that I saw needed true change. I never could find a church that had what I was looking for.... a great message and a great fellowship. I never wanted to cling to my roommates with their life and church and their friends. I wanted it to be my own. I thought I had found a decent church, but the fellowship was lacking for me. I was blessed with my time in making two wonderful friends from my roommates and got alot closer with my friend Lauren.

In all this.... I was still very unhappy and depressed. All I did was work, and come home. Occassionally I saw friends, but the timing was so few and far in between, that I was alone... alot. And being alone made me want home more, and also made me think alot. The job market is awful in San Diego for hospitality and I really do want to use my degree at some point. I was working at Coffee Bean and I couldn't be promoted because of my poor credit, and it was another sign that my time in San Diego was coming to an end. I came home twice in October to SLO/AG and there was a peace about it. Not just wishful thinking. My previous manager got me in touch with someone who gave me a job and paid a little more than my current wage with Coffee Bean, and also setting up interviews for a second job. I came home two weeks ago about now, and had interviews for a nanny position, and a few other things including my root canal and the Death Cab concert, and I was ready. The housing fell into place by the decision to take Amanda's spot in the Ash House so she can move back in with her parents so she too can save money to pay off stuff (How I can relate). When I told my mom, she knew off the bat I had been uphappy for months, but she understood why I had left. I needed a break, I needed to see what was outside my comfort zone. I got alot of insight into myself, I am more comfortable with low-key, and alot more trusting God to take care of stuff. I know I need to grow even still. I returned to San Diego with affirmation that my hours were cut, I was no longer full-time, and I can't pay a big rent with that and eat and pay other bills. I confirmed to my roommates I would be moving out.... in a week. While that is not alot of notice, I was not in a lease or anything. I planned to pay the amount I was there for the month of November. I began packing, organizing, and getting ready. I had planned to move eventually back home, so I had already moved some stuff back.

So after the Karelisa's weekend festivities.... I loaded up my car... very "low-rida", Tiff brought her fiances' truck down and loaded up my bed, and Lauren came to the rescue and got everything that I was not going to be able to fit until she comes home in December and until I am in SD again for Karelisa's wedding. I am so blessed by everything my friends have done to help me return... including Ryan housing some of my stuff and the Wesley House until I completely move in at the end of November. For now... Amanda is wonderful (as always) and we are literally roommates, and last night.... came home.... like really home. Home to Arroyo Grande... for good. The next few months are filled with working alot, and in the Spring am taking Financial Peace at church. Learning to give more over to God and to live a life honoring to Him, and really... living each day to its fullest, as if today could be the last. Take risks and chances. Life works out the way God wants it to.... if I want it to. The joy of Free Will is making the choice on what those choices are. My free will is about what God wants, and hopefully I want the same things ;)

Please be in prayer as I readjust and pick up a second job that it all comes together. Start serving at church.... that God would be blessed and honored by what I do.

While I still mull over my 4 month stint in San Diego (pretty much 4 months to the day), and I am now done with my 4.5 years of coffee (WOW!!), and now I move forward. Letting God lead the next chapter in my life, and will enjoy every moment of it., and also learn from those moments as well. I am back home in Arroyo Grande, for good.