When You Feel Your Identity has Changed

The past few months I have been working on creating a community where I can best have an outlet with those "alike" in the mom realm, and as I was writing the following post this morning I realized that the subject of "identity" and "branding" and "image" are things everyone in every walk of life struggles with and thought perhaps this would resonate even further with a wider audience. (as posted on @sahm_chronicles @therealsahmchronicles)

On this day one year ago my husband went back to work after taking the time off immediately after our daughter was born. I was still in recovery for a c-section, and it was Day 1 of just me and my girl. I remember looking in the mirror saying “who am I now?” Life changes will do this. Make us question our identity or feel we are lost. I stood in front my that full length mirror in maternity pants and a pre-maternity shirt thinking how I didn’t recognize myself. Clothes off and I definitely didn’t with a c-section scar (which even now I don’t have any qualms over), stretch marks, and just a body that was working it’s way to a new normal. I was on maternity leave from work (which I eventually got terminated from weeks later from and that did a whopper to my self esteem... another post), and it was now taking on this new role head on as “Mom”. Did this fully define me now?
Some people need to be defined by their job. Others by attributes, social status, or how they think the world sees them. This past year I dealt with baby blues... HARD. Never feeling comfortable in my skin, what I wore, in social situations..... I didn’t know “me”. Instead of trying to be who I WAS it was redefining and growing into something NEW. I’m still full of sass, blunt honesty, love, and I had to change my views of “beauty” and “good enough”. I ransacked my closet ridding of what felt “old”, and found myself even drawn to different people.
A year later I’m still figuring it out as I look for the possible RIGHT job... not one that needs to define me but one that values me and my needs for work/life balance. Continuing a journey to not let others change or define me but changing my own mindset and as a Christian remembering how God defines me.
Did you struggle with identity after having your baby? Or perhaps when you got married? Are you struggling now? Where are you seeking that acceptance or validation?

Where Have You Been?

For years I had maintained this blog for people to connect for personal life updates, but it was also a space for me to share thoughts about what is going on in our world and part of my world is the church community. In the past two years my community scope has expanded... actually a lot has happened since the last blog post... and here is a quick run down for those who aren't on my facebook or instagram pages for those daily musings:

- Got married... yeah that was kinda big guys. Life changing.
- Got pregnant... and it definitely happened AFTER walking down the aisle, but we welcomed our daughter in May 2017 before our 1 year anniversary.
- This year started creating and managing my own content for the "mom" community on Instagram and Facebook: SAHM Chronicles. It has allowed me to connect to my new community, find solace in some changes, encouragement, and hopefully giving those things out.
- Still living in Los Angeles... and trying to get out.

Those are the big things. Through those things my views have been rocked, matured, changed, and some have all together been proven wrong. It is crazy how marriage and having a baby and becoming a parent changes things and yet for us SO quickly. These are the greatest things but also scary to be in territory not previously passed through or chartered and a lot of it has become "learn by doing".

The reoccurring theme that keeps coming across in all these changes and life is COMMUNITY. The importance of community and that community being one that is healthy, speaks truth in love, and grows deeper and deeper as time goes on. My husband and I have made some big changes to what that community looks like and in coming posts will expand on that. This year.... also will be looking to brand my content with my own URL verses going through blogger to personalize further and building whatever brand I am looking to build (I honestly can go in so many directions). I definitely need to redirect it as it contains my maiden name, and I am all about moving forward and part of that is building my identity as a wife and part of this amazing family unit I am building and became part of through my husband as well.

I have been told for years to pursue this "writing thing", and that people would be interested in what I have to say... so we shall see. Perhaps there are more than 10 people out there who care about my world and life views, what I am learning as I navigate through this thing they call "Parenthood", and considerably what I am learning as a newly married wife who went from working full time to becoming a stay at home parent.

This post is in no way profound.... it is more of picking up where I left off without droning on about the past two years because so much can be brought into a post on its own. Perhaps I may even finally express my true feelings of our current political climate, as I stayed uncharacteristically silent in the last election and the outcome.