So, just to see if you know... I can get somewhere 2,500 miles away....
I am submitting my resume for a position with a non-profit organization in NYC as a Program Assistant with the room for advancement. I mean, I got nothing to lose... and what if it did turn into something?! Only time will tell :)
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Ponderance of the Future.... is it in California... oh and a weekend recap! Enjoy!!!
What a wonderful weekend this has been. For weeks Kim and I were in secret planning for Kristi's bday.... what could be better than getting the Bockhahn boys to come up and visit from San Marcos... and just stroll into Chili's like no big deal. It was a blessing to bless her in bringing her family to her. Saturday was wonderful with breakfast at The Girl's Restaurant in AG and then to the Strawberry Festival. That evening was movie night with Orange Chicken and Rice. Apparently, a tradition, is to watch Undercover Blues... so we did so.
That's the update for an awesome weekend.
Continuing on... believe it or not my fascination and renewed interest in NYC has occurred. I think a visit is in order... but I am thinking... a time is going to come when I can no longer defer student loans, and if the right job came along... what a wonderful experience it would be to live in NYC. I mean really.... I hated San Diego... and yet.... I met a handful of people that really touched my heart. I also now have Ashley... who has transplanted herself in NYC for a job as well.... and it is a sweet set up. I am not a big city California person... something is different though once you go New England, and NYC just has its flair that no one else in the U.S. can compare to. Maybe... in a year, whenI am sick of mondane jobs and wasting time as I live the good life (non-materialistic) on the Central Coast.
Hey Ash-- if you are still there in NYC.... we could be roommates lol :)
That's the update for an awesome weekend.
Continuing on... believe it or not my fascination and renewed interest in NYC has occurred. I think a visit is in order... but I am thinking... a time is going to come when I can no longer defer student loans, and if the right job came along... what a wonderful experience it would be to live in NYC. I mean really.... I hated San Diego... and yet.... I met a handful of people that really touched my heart. I also now have Ashley... who has transplanted herself in NYC for a job as well.... and it is a sweet set up. I am not a big city California person... something is different though once you go New England, and NYC just has its flair that no one else in the U.S. can compare to. Maybe... in a year, whenI am sick of mondane jobs and wasting time as I live the good life (non-materialistic) on the Central Coast.
Hey Ash-- if you are still there in NYC.... we could be roommates lol :)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Can I steal the name of a friend's blog for this one?
My friend Ashley has a name for her blog "The Confessions of a Quarter-life Crisis"... and I think it is fitting for this blog.... at least this entry and not be a thief (Love you Ash)!
Anyway.... this past year has been.... CRAZY! It has been full of up's and down's.... externally and internally. In this past year my heart has been broken, I felt abandonment, loss, and confusion. I moved to a city I hated (but convinced myself I was supposed to). I felt alone, and like I was failing. I was a college graduate... I was supposed to have my degree hot in one hand and be sitting in a cushy job enjoying the new life. Instead, I was working in coffee still and in a town I hated. I had gone to school and it was so easy making friends and going to lunch. I was always so used to having people always around... and I pulled myself out of all of it... I think it really was the beginning of the road I started on. I was becoming so self-destructive, but didn't know that really until I got back home. I spent months in San Diego... crying myself to sleep, and so angry and bitter at God. He took away my best friend and boyfriend, all my roommates and I were breaking off, and I had no "real" job after 6 years of school. I felt that 6 years of adulthood and I had nothing to show for it. Even graduation day I was crying and miserable, when it should have been a time feeling accomplishment and a great ending to a great time in my life-- college. I look back at the six years and wonder how much of it was my own doing. I moved out at 17 and like instantly was in a relationship everyone warned me to not get into. With someone who knew how to "wear the mask" especially in front of people of whom he really valued their opinion-- or rather how he looked. He was a Pastor's son... and yet couldn't get it right. Our relationship ended with permanent damage and scars. And I know that now. I always assumed I would recover... and while God has made it easier... and it is because of Free Will (thanks Kristi for explaining that to me months ago what it truly is).... I had entered that party scene after the relationship. I got better in time, after some close calls at being stupid and just ridiculous. I feared relationships... I didn't trust the other end, and my relationship with God was what I thought better not being in one. Then I got back into the relationship-- but I think the motives were different. I got closure. I had grown and he was the same manipulator, and I was still in his eyes not good enough to be a "Pastor's Wife". Not good enough. That's what stayed with me. I didn't measure up. I couldn't handle that. I had lack of cheerleaders when I went out on my own. People telling me I wouldn't make it, I would be moving home within a year. I would fail. How does one deal? I just screamed back louder! I moved forward swearing to not go back into a relationship... and my best friend came along... and well it had its problems, and it ended breaking my heart within the same time as moving out, graduating, and not knowing what the hell I was going in my life and what I would be doing. I knew what I didn't want to do, but not what I wanted. I felt empty, numb. I didn't care. I have never been the suicidal type-- and not just because of my fear of weapons... okay partly... just I don't know. But I think I went into social, spiritual, and emotional, and even mental suicide. Slowly, I was telling myself "I just need to remove negative energy". I was damaging relationships... and the closer you were to me, the more burned you were becoming. I moved home 4 months after moving to San Diego. I hated every moment. I thought it would be the instant fix. Then 6.5 years of my life came back before me, and I realized.... I never really deal with anything. I just move forward telling myself "crying over spilled milk" would not solve a thing, would not change anything. That phrase itself came from that boyfriend who told me I was not good enough. So, the person who helped me most, was the next in my line of fire. Reading into every single thing, making a bigger deal out of nothing. You know what they say.... misery loves company. Everyone around me was happy... and I wasn't. I got into a fight with one of my friends weeks before her wedding... and pulled out of it even. Will that relationship ever be the same? I reckon not. My proclaimed "best friend" was in my line of fire. I don't do well with criticism and I will always take on the guilt and it eats me alive. Here I am blessed with two roommates who I love so dearly, and I think I sometimes take it forgranted. I think I then began to accept I would never truly have joy no matter how much I desired it, and I would never be who I was 3 years ago without stress and life seemed so good. I was in Poly, was not in a relationship, and I was "Carpe Diem". Even in that I still had things to overcome, and I was just not dealing... pretending all was fine and dandy. And after awhile.. you boil over. Well here I am... boiled over, and now cleaning up and it's something I didn't realize. Back in November, I thought things would be perfect again.... back home with friends I love dearly, a church I connect with, and the ocean (my calm and escape). I did get those things in my return, and yet was wallowing.... from then til now now have struggled with being unemployed, being sick, and if that was not enough... the real self-sabotage and destruction was beginning.... I hold relationships dear and I began the "I will hurt you before you can hurt me. If you have made me angry-- here is my hell fire". And it started. Reading more into something than was there so I could have a reason to go off on some rant and play the derstroyer of everything in my path. A couple relationships went south, and I can't say I am the victim in the situation. While it takes two to make a relationship work, I thought that no matter what.... my friends would stick by me. I had my boundaries, but became flabbergasted when people had theirs. What it means to be a friend has changed for me this past year and who God is to me and what that relationship has as well. At least I can say my relationship with God has not been complacent. It has changed so much this past year, it is not what it was 3 years ago. I remember being so passionate and sharing him with friends, and now I can say I see what he has done, and if he were not in my life... I don't know if I would be alive, and that is the honest truth. When I am an emotional basketcase.... my first thought it.... margaritas, wine tasting... an escape. I also realize email and texting can be a dangerous weapon for me in my anger, and I have always struggled with having to have the last word in... no matter how mean I need to be. It is not something I am proud of, and I know my pride has a lot to do with it. The past few weeks have been a time of self-actualization (if that is the right term). At church we are studying who God is in our deepest hurts... and we are discussing loneliness, grief, heart break.... and each one is a bulls eye to where I have been.... this past year and especially on and off for almost 7 years. I feel like alot of these 7 years I wasted. I see how I dealt with my anger and loneliness and failures and heart break by being angry, spiteful, and negative. I attacked others instead of dealing. While I hold my opinions of situations that two people are at fault for.... it doesn't change my handlings of it. I am still in control of me... not of others. I can control the outcome with my input, and I see it. I am sorry for those I hurt, those who care, those who have prayed. I am sorry for those being in my line of fire as I battle life and seeing how God is still the foundation of my life and yet all this stuff still happens. I am fooled in my thinking that just because I am a Christian that I would be shielded from the earth's outpour of hurt, trials, pain, suffering. I feel like all I want is breathing time... to just be... to recover before something else is dropped on me. I feel like God is presenting that now. Here I am battling some allergy with food (still unknown in the confirmed sense), and have relationships that needs reconciliation and forgiveness.... and don't know how to go about it. I know I need to heal. I know I need to see God not as the judger who will shake his head at me in anger.... but as a God who loves and see how he has saved me. I feel like I went through spiritual, emotional, and mental suicide. I don't recognize who I was this past year, and I know it is changing. Two songs I have been holding dear since my time in San Diego are Mighty to Save and You Never Let Go (Matt Redman), and I have to remember those things the moment I sit in what I think is despair.
I was driving in San Luis this week and got off the freeway at Madonna Rd. going towards Madonna Plaza for an interview... and I see this man with his sign "No food, please help", and it reminded me... I am blessed. I have roommates who are part of my houseing stability, I have a job, roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my stomach, and Champ (my car) runs.... and for the most part I am healthy. I am very blessed. Yet, here I was the day before jealous of the college kids who drive their Jetta's, Beamers, and don't have to work.... and like "why can't I have all that?". I feel like I have worked SO hard and have nothing much to show for it. And maybe that's it too.... I don't need material things to show my worth. And how much I have won't show my worth, or what I wear, or who I am friends with. My worth is nothing this earth can ever measure... because at the end of the day we are all people with our personal shames, battle wounds, fears, joys, pains, loves, and passions.... and in that we are the same.... and we all do need Jesus. Now, to make this thinking a constant is a battle in itself, but one I pray for and hope for.
I thank each and everyone of my friends, family, and loved ones from the bottom of my heart for sticking by me. I thank you for praying and encouraging me. This past year I have been anything but loveable, and I am blessed for the love and grace you have shown. While I see what it means to be a friend to be so different and what it means to have a friend... I know I am blessed. Sometimes that is why I have Kristi as a roommate... to bring me back to reality once in awhile. I want to go back to dreaming big, and realizing that everything I have gone through.... somehow I am still alive and I will make it through life I think. ;). I pray that there would be understanding an opportunities to make wrongs right, and to make a difference in life. I am thankful for friends and family. As this year has started off rough.... it can end smoothly... it all is about who is my focus and what I let in.
I hope this has kinda been an insight to what the past year has been like for me, and I hope you take to heart that my desire is to not hurt anyone in my life, and I value you all so much!
Anyway.... this past year has been.... CRAZY! It has been full of up's and down's.... externally and internally. In this past year my heart has been broken, I felt abandonment, loss, and confusion. I moved to a city I hated (but convinced myself I was supposed to). I felt alone, and like I was failing. I was a college graduate... I was supposed to have my degree hot in one hand and be sitting in a cushy job enjoying the new life. Instead, I was working in coffee still and in a town I hated. I had gone to school and it was so easy making friends and going to lunch. I was always so used to having people always around... and I pulled myself out of all of it... I think it really was the beginning of the road I started on. I was becoming so self-destructive, but didn't know that really until I got back home. I spent months in San Diego... crying myself to sleep, and so angry and bitter at God. He took away my best friend and boyfriend, all my roommates and I were breaking off, and I had no "real" job after 6 years of school. I felt that 6 years of adulthood and I had nothing to show for it. Even graduation day I was crying and miserable, when it should have been a time feeling accomplishment and a great ending to a great time in my life-- college. I look back at the six years and wonder how much of it was my own doing. I moved out at 17 and like instantly was in a relationship everyone warned me to not get into. With someone who knew how to "wear the mask" especially in front of people of whom he really valued their opinion-- or rather how he looked. He was a Pastor's son... and yet couldn't get it right. Our relationship ended with permanent damage and scars. And I know that now. I always assumed I would recover... and while God has made it easier... and it is because of Free Will (thanks Kristi for explaining that to me months ago what it truly is).... I had entered that party scene after the relationship. I got better in time, after some close calls at being stupid and just ridiculous. I feared relationships... I didn't trust the other end, and my relationship with God was what I thought better not being in one. Then I got back into the relationship-- but I think the motives were different. I got closure. I had grown and he was the same manipulator, and I was still in his eyes not good enough to be a "Pastor's Wife". Not good enough. That's what stayed with me. I didn't measure up. I couldn't handle that. I had lack of cheerleaders when I went out on my own. People telling me I wouldn't make it, I would be moving home within a year. I would fail. How does one deal? I just screamed back louder! I moved forward swearing to not go back into a relationship... and my best friend came along... and well it had its problems, and it ended breaking my heart within the same time as moving out, graduating, and not knowing what the hell I was going in my life and what I would be doing. I knew what I didn't want to do, but not what I wanted. I felt empty, numb. I didn't care. I have never been the suicidal type-- and not just because of my fear of weapons... okay partly... just I don't know. But I think I went into social, spiritual, and emotional, and even mental suicide. Slowly, I was telling myself "I just need to remove negative energy". I was damaging relationships... and the closer you were to me, the more burned you were becoming. I moved home 4 months after moving to San Diego. I hated every moment. I thought it would be the instant fix. Then 6.5 years of my life came back before me, and I realized.... I never really deal with anything. I just move forward telling myself "crying over spilled milk" would not solve a thing, would not change anything. That phrase itself came from that boyfriend who told me I was not good enough. So, the person who helped me most, was the next in my line of fire. Reading into every single thing, making a bigger deal out of nothing. You know what they say.... misery loves company. Everyone around me was happy... and I wasn't. I got into a fight with one of my friends weeks before her wedding... and pulled out of it even. Will that relationship ever be the same? I reckon not. My proclaimed "best friend" was in my line of fire. I don't do well with criticism and I will always take on the guilt and it eats me alive. Here I am blessed with two roommates who I love so dearly, and I think I sometimes take it forgranted. I think I then began to accept I would never truly have joy no matter how much I desired it, and I would never be who I was 3 years ago without stress and life seemed so good. I was in Poly, was not in a relationship, and I was "Carpe Diem". Even in that I still had things to overcome, and I was just not dealing... pretending all was fine and dandy. And after awhile.. you boil over. Well here I am... boiled over, and now cleaning up and it's something I didn't realize. Back in November, I thought things would be perfect again.... back home with friends I love dearly, a church I connect with, and the ocean (my calm and escape). I did get those things in my return, and yet was wallowing.... from then til now now have struggled with being unemployed, being sick, and if that was not enough... the real self-sabotage and destruction was beginning.... I hold relationships dear and I began the "I will hurt you before you can hurt me. If you have made me angry-- here is my hell fire". And it started. Reading more into something than was there so I could have a reason to go off on some rant and play the derstroyer of everything in my path. A couple relationships went south, and I can't say I am the victim in the situation. While it takes two to make a relationship work, I thought that no matter what.... my friends would stick by me. I had my boundaries, but became flabbergasted when people had theirs. What it means to be a friend has changed for me this past year and who God is to me and what that relationship has as well. At least I can say my relationship with God has not been complacent. It has changed so much this past year, it is not what it was 3 years ago. I remember being so passionate and sharing him with friends, and now I can say I see what he has done, and if he were not in my life... I don't know if I would be alive, and that is the honest truth. When I am an emotional basketcase.... my first thought it.... margaritas, wine tasting... an escape. I also realize email and texting can be a dangerous weapon for me in my anger, and I have always struggled with having to have the last word in... no matter how mean I need to be. It is not something I am proud of, and I know my pride has a lot to do with it. The past few weeks have been a time of self-actualization (if that is the right term). At church we are studying who God is in our deepest hurts... and we are discussing loneliness, grief, heart break.... and each one is a bulls eye to where I have been.... this past year and especially on and off for almost 7 years. I feel like alot of these 7 years I wasted. I see how I dealt with my anger and loneliness and failures and heart break by being angry, spiteful, and negative. I attacked others instead of dealing. While I hold my opinions of situations that two people are at fault for.... it doesn't change my handlings of it. I am still in control of me... not of others. I can control the outcome with my input, and I see it. I am sorry for those I hurt, those who care, those who have prayed. I am sorry for those being in my line of fire as I battle life and seeing how God is still the foundation of my life and yet all this stuff still happens. I am fooled in my thinking that just because I am a Christian that I would be shielded from the earth's outpour of hurt, trials, pain, suffering. I feel like all I want is breathing time... to just be... to recover before something else is dropped on me. I feel like God is presenting that now. Here I am battling some allergy with food (still unknown in the confirmed sense), and have relationships that needs reconciliation and forgiveness.... and don't know how to go about it. I know I need to heal. I know I need to see God not as the judger who will shake his head at me in anger.... but as a God who loves and see how he has saved me. I feel like I went through spiritual, emotional, and mental suicide. I don't recognize who I was this past year, and I know it is changing. Two songs I have been holding dear since my time in San Diego are Mighty to Save and You Never Let Go (Matt Redman), and I have to remember those things the moment I sit in what I think is despair.
I was driving in San Luis this week and got off the freeway at Madonna Rd. going towards Madonna Plaza for an interview... and I see this man with his sign "No food, please help", and it reminded me... I am blessed. I have roommates who are part of my houseing stability, I have a job, roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my stomach, and Champ (my car) runs.... and for the most part I am healthy. I am very blessed. Yet, here I was the day before jealous of the college kids who drive their Jetta's, Beamers, and don't have to work.... and like "why can't I have all that?". I feel like I have worked SO hard and have nothing much to show for it. And maybe that's it too.... I don't need material things to show my worth. And how much I have won't show my worth, or what I wear, or who I am friends with. My worth is nothing this earth can ever measure... because at the end of the day we are all people with our personal shames, battle wounds, fears, joys, pains, loves, and passions.... and in that we are the same.... and we all do need Jesus. Now, to make this thinking a constant is a battle in itself, but one I pray for and hope for.
I thank each and everyone of my friends, family, and loved ones from the bottom of my heart for sticking by me. I thank you for praying and encouraging me. This past year I have been anything but loveable, and I am blessed for the love and grace you have shown. While I see what it means to be a friend to be so different and what it means to have a friend... I know I am blessed. Sometimes that is why I have Kristi as a roommate... to bring me back to reality once in awhile. I want to go back to dreaming big, and realizing that everything I have gone through.... somehow I am still alive and I will make it through life I think. ;). I pray that there would be understanding an opportunities to make wrongs right, and to make a difference in life. I am thankful for friends and family. As this year has started off rough.... it can end smoothly... it all is about who is my focus and what I let in.
I hope this has kinda been an insight to what the past year has been like for me, and I hope you take to heart that my desire is to not hurt anyone in my life, and I value you all so much!
Medical Breakthrough?
After everything... it points to... Candidas. If you are not familiar in lamen's terms: High Molds Food Allergy. Any foods (mostly processed) that are high molds (left overs, ground beef, wine, corn, gluten...) well my body can't fully process them and begin to attack the remainder of what is not processed... hence... a reaction. I will be getting a blood test to confirm, but the prayer has been appreciated, as it has been a frustrating battle, and now learning what my body can handle... and every time I have a reaction... I just go straight for the Benadryl.
So just prayer as I learn to manage this, and it has also put my eczema out of whack as well.
Thanks!
So just prayer as I learn to manage this, and it has also put my eczema out of whack as well.
Thanks!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
LOST-- 5 down... 1 to go!
LOST definitely delivered last night nothing short of amazing. So much was revealed, and yet so much was kept us wanting to know more. At the end of the finale we have two John Locke's, but one really is not him... and one of them is dead.... yet 20 feet from each other. We then have Juliet risk her life to go with Jack's plan, and once the bomb does not go over, an internal bleeding Juliet bangs the hell out of that bomb and it goes off.... the screen goes white and we are left waiting until January 2010 for one heck of a final season. We finally see Jacob... and it is more of a spirit, and Jacob is not the black cloud monster I thought we would come to find out. "John Locke" asks Richard Alpert why he doesn't age?
We see the sensitive side of Ben.... broken after years of following the orders of a man he had never seen. Ben was the leader of The Others before John Locke came along, and John snaps his fingers to see Jacob and as Ben said.... like Moses... was taken to where he wanted to go. Quite the biblical analogy huh? Ben is so hurt that Jacob did not care for Ben.... that he was pushed aside that he does Jacob in... stabs him and lets him burn to death in a fire pit. So what was Jacob's true significance for this island? Well without him... we will sure find out next season. We do know Jacob did have actual encounters and interactions with the Oceanic 6 plus Juliet and Sawyer at some major point in their lives... like that is when he "chose" them to come to the island and made the circumstances as such.
Will the destiny really be revealed, and if 815 never happened will destiny really bring Jack and Kate together (Gosh, I hope so). Will Jack find out even then Claire is his sister? Will Charlie no longer be dead? So many unanswered questions that hopefully the last 17 episodes next year will answer.
My heart broke for Sawyer when he lost Juliet.... and my heart went out to Ben as I could fully understand that one more time in his life... he was barked orders which he followed but never valued. And what is the deal with two Locke's... there is a purpose. I know who the impostor is.... and I think I know why......
Great finale, and I will be sad to see it end next year :) However, FlashForward is coming in the Fall.... sounds like a good premise
We see the sensitive side of Ben.... broken after years of following the orders of a man he had never seen. Ben was the leader of The Others before John Locke came along, and John snaps his fingers to see Jacob and as Ben said.... like Moses... was taken to where he wanted to go. Quite the biblical analogy huh? Ben is so hurt that Jacob did not care for Ben.... that he was pushed aside that he does Jacob in... stabs him and lets him burn to death in a fire pit. So what was Jacob's true significance for this island? Well without him... we will sure find out next season. We do know Jacob did have actual encounters and interactions with the Oceanic 6 plus Juliet and Sawyer at some major point in their lives... like that is when he "chose" them to come to the island and made the circumstances as such.
Will the destiny really be revealed, and if 815 never happened will destiny really bring Jack and Kate together (Gosh, I hope so). Will Jack find out even then Claire is his sister? Will Charlie no longer be dead? So many unanswered questions that hopefully the last 17 episodes next year will answer.
My heart broke for Sawyer when he lost Juliet.... and my heart went out to Ben as I could fully understand that one more time in his life... he was barked orders which he followed but never valued. And what is the deal with two Locke's... there is a purpose. I know who the impostor is.... and I think I know why......
Great finale, and I will be sad to see it end next year :) However, FlashForward is coming in the Fall.... sounds like a good premise
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
May Flowers-- Metaphorically... even with the lack of April Rain!
May is starting off to be a preview of what lies ahead perhaps! May excites me because LOST Season Finale, and then I have to wait 7 months now for the final season of what has been one amazing, seat gripping show. I don't think I Have ever been addicted to any show like this-- not even All My Children ;)
Anyway... to the real stuff:
I am working... and not too sure what I think about it. I mean I know coffee, and yet I am finding myself scratching my head. The owners are new to being both business owners and also to the Coffee Industry. I feel overwhelmed as I don't have all the answers with this being my full week in and observing and just seeing what needs to happen to best move forward. Now, I don't plan to make a career out of the coffee business, even though it looks like. A good friend is trying to help me in getting a job with Heritage Oaks Bank, and so God willing that works out and I can go into a different line of work, building on my skill set, and having better hours.
With summer just around the corner, my plans are also on the horizon. Suzanne is coming out in July and maybe this will be the season of the tattoo. I made her a deal... if and when I get one she would be there for it... and most likely be getting another one at the same time (that's right... I said another one). Camp Challenge is also in July, and I have plans to visit friends in Mississippi and see Suzanne in Colorado. Another trip to New York is on the planner for fall though.
Roommates are wonderful as usual, and I am very blessed for people more and more as I see who truly has stuck by me. People who understand life happens. People who see God working. All in one batch.
Besides the usual stress of finances all is good. No allergic reactions in almost a week, and it has been nice to not have them. Maybe it was bacterial and my body got rid of it. Another major flare up-- and I am going to get a blood test.
Prayer: for my family-- unity, God's grace, and for forgiveness.; my finances, a more permanent job, God bring protection and stability. Our Pastor's wife (Juanita)... her sister was just diagnosed with breast cancer, so prayer for her as well and the family in this time.
Anyway... to the real stuff:
I am working... and not too sure what I think about it. I mean I know coffee, and yet I am finding myself scratching my head. The owners are new to being both business owners and also to the Coffee Industry. I feel overwhelmed as I don't have all the answers with this being my full week in and observing and just seeing what needs to happen to best move forward. Now, I don't plan to make a career out of the coffee business, even though it looks like. A good friend is trying to help me in getting a job with Heritage Oaks Bank, and so God willing that works out and I can go into a different line of work, building on my skill set, and having better hours.
With summer just around the corner, my plans are also on the horizon. Suzanne is coming out in July and maybe this will be the season of the tattoo. I made her a deal... if and when I get one she would be there for it... and most likely be getting another one at the same time (that's right... I said another one). Camp Challenge is also in July, and I have plans to visit friends in Mississippi and see Suzanne in Colorado. Another trip to New York is on the planner for fall though.
Roommates are wonderful as usual, and I am very blessed for people more and more as I see who truly has stuck by me. People who understand life happens. People who see God working. All in one batch.
Besides the usual stress of finances all is good. No allergic reactions in almost a week, and it has been nice to not have them. Maybe it was bacterial and my body got rid of it. Another major flare up-- and I am going to get a blood test.
Prayer: for my family-- unity, God's grace, and for forgiveness.; my finances, a more permanent job, God bring protection and stability. Our Pastor's wife (Juanita)... her sister was just diagnosed with breast cancer, so prayer for her as well and the family in this time.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Job Report
News: Employed
Details: Assistant Manager
Industry: Coffee
Corporate: No
Ideal: Not so much.
Goal: Get a paycheck and wait to hear from the bank!
End of report. This is me... signing off. Good Day!
Details: Assistant Manager
Industry: Coffee
Corporate: No
Ideal: Not so much.
Goal: Get a paycheck and wait to hear from the bank!
End of report. This is me... signing off. Good Day!
Sunday, May 03, 2009
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
X-Men Origins: Wolverine = Bad ass movie. Great action, Hugh Jackman was amazing (even though the character of Scrubs Dr. Cox hates the man).... amazing!! The same way I love Sawyer on Scrubs... I love Hugh Jackman in this movie. And the end was a definite set up for a sequel to come!! I have to have my action... and I mean it was no Dark Knight, but not much can be held in comparison to that... and well this was amazing even still. And Dominic Monaghun (ex-Charlie from LOST) is also in this movie in the first third as well... and the guy after Ben at the end of Lost Season 4. Also, Ryan Reynolds also is in the beginning of the movie as well! Great cast, awesome action, and I am satisfied like B+/A- rating for sure!
I saw it at
The Fremont in Downtown SLO, and it is a great theater to see this movie in... and so is the Regal in Arroyo Grande. See it if you haven't yet.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Health Update 1
In the past two weeks I have been avoiding anything that is a high mold food/yeast/gluten (even though the doctor has so far ruled out gluten)... but alot of the foods are the same... anyway... the last outbreak reaction is healing, and the only issue is anytime I do eat bread I am having an asthmatic reaction and feel heavy and super tired almost within 30 minutes after eating, but no rash outbreak or swelling around my mouth. Praise God! I am doing my best to avoid wine as well... even though it is tempting and hard... the outcome is not pleasant. But thank you for praying and those who have continued to encourage and pray! I believe in the power of prayer, and I will never reject prayer :)
Friday, May 01, 2009
Are we being who we need to be?
job hunting... the same.
people... eh... the same.
Wondering why I have people on my facebook friends who refuse to email me back or even try to have a relationship. I have enough "friends" I just want people in my life that are interested in a growing, developing, friendship with me. Is that too much to ask? Don't pretend with me. Be honest. Don't lie to me. Don't think you need to please me. Don't beat around the bush. Be an adult. People.... take responsibility for the things you say and your actions. Don't expect an apology if you also owe one and won't give it. I am 24... why can't everyone just act their age already? Marriage shouldn't turn you into a jerk... but should make you better. Graduating should make you humble... not a hot head. Moving away does not kill the relationship... a lack of communication does. Being a Christian is not excuse to act better than others. Being a Christian does not give you a license to judge others.
What happened to true, blue friendship. I am finding that alot of my non-Christian friends are better friends than my Christian friends. Loyalty and honesty and respect above all. I am finding my non-Christian friends act more like Christians than my Christian friends.... so maybe it is those friends who if Jesus came into their lives would be the most influential? I am blessed for those relationships that don't only depend on the other having a good day. I can have a bad day and they are no less of a friend. The bible talks about us taking each others burdens... coming along side to be that person to lean on. Have you let someone lean on you lately? Is there someone you need to reconnect with? Is there a relationship that needs to be restored in your life? Someone you need to forgive? Someone you need to apologize to? Is pride in the way? Are you the most important person in your life? Does there need to be change in your life? Where do you start? And who do you put first?? Yourself or someone else?
Who needs to be the change that people need to see? Who needs to be the Jesus this world desparately need to see? Even Christians need glimpses of Jesus on earth once in awhile... and when we invite Christ into our lives.... that is what we are to become... for others to see.
Life will always change the perception of God for me.... or rather remold the relationship. Mature it perhaps... see it from a different set of eyes, yet still my eyes.
people... eh... the same.
Wondering why I have people on my facebook friends who refuse to email me back or even try to have a relationship. I have enough "friends" I just want people in my life that are interested in a growing, developing, friendship with me. Is that too much to ask? Don't pretend with me. Be honest. Don't lie to me. Don't think you need to please me. Don't beat around the bush. Be an adult. People.... take responsibility for the things you say and your actions. Don't expect an apology if you also owe one and won't give it. I am 24... why can't everyone just act their age already? Marriage shouldn't turn you into a jerk... but should make you better. Graduating should make you humble... not a hot head. Moving away does not kill the relationship... a lack of communication does. Being a Christian is not excuse to act better than others. Being a Christian does not give you a license to judge others.
What happened to true, blue friendship. I am finding that alot of my non-Christian friends are better friends than my Christian friends. Loyalty and honesty and respect above all. I am finding my non-Christian friends act more like Christians than my Christian friends.... so maybe it is those friends who if Jesus came into their lives would be the most influential? I am blessed for those relationships that don't only depend on the other having a good day. I can have a bad day and they are no less of a friend. The bible talks about us taking each others burdens... coming along side to be that person to lean on. Have you let someone lean on you lately? Is there someone you need to reconnect with? Is there a relationship that needs to be restored in your life? Someone you need to forgive? Someone you need to apologize to? Is pride in the way? Are you the most important person in your life? Does there need to be change in your life? Where do you start? And who do you put first?? Yourself or someone else?
Who needs to be the change that people need to see? Who needs to be the Jesus this world desparately need to see? Even Christians need glimpses of Jesus on earth once in awhile... and when we invite Christ into our lives.... that is what we are to become... for others to see.
Life will always change the perception of God for me.... or rather remold the relationship. Mature it perhaps... see it from a different set of eyes, yet still my eyes.
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