Spring Reflection

This weekend creates quite the time to reflect. Last night I went to Good Friday Services and it always creates this moment of reflection. To see where I have come in my walk with the Lord, but also some of my many failures still waiting for some resolution or work to be done. Last night, we were to reflect on the areas we fail in the 10 Commandments... and gosh, that list in and of itself could go on forever. I know I am not perfect, not even close, and yet I have come to terms with the fact I never will be. Doesn't mean I shouldn't try... at least to live in a way that brings glory to Jesus.

I think I have been pretty reflective for awhile, since moving back from New York. I miss New York a lot. Some days I wish I would just get on a plane, move back into my old apartment and go back to the routine I was loving. Great thing about a bigger city... no drama, and there is always something to do, great people to meet, and amazing things to see and experience. I miss the friends I made there, and the family I got to see. I miss it even more the days my cousin Jayden sends me text messages or when I see pictures posted of the kids on Facebook. (And yes, this is my softie moment).

Holidays can be tough.... I like the central coast and I remember almost 11 years ago moving here and fighting to be here with a lot of "nay sayers" saying I would never make it. I think there is some satisfaction in proving them wrong in that and yet I never want to lose sight of how the life I live is not for other people, but truly for myself and for Jesus. I think I forget the latter sometimes and get caught up in my own race. After coming back, I feel as though my chapter on the Central Coast is really about to close. Sometimes, now that I am back, I feel as though I am on the outside looking in and some of the ties I had before (and I am sure the move to NY has something to do with it), are not there anymore.  I get so excited when I get to go to Texas for work (I really do.... nice people and pretty laid back... and we all know I would love to live in a "red" state someday ;-) ). I actually got excited this week to find out my territory for work had been expanded to cover a big portion of Ventura... not necessarily because I love all the driving, but I do love the fact that I can plan my work week right to be in Santa Barbara or Ventura on a Friday, a weekend in LA, and then Monday have a work day in Santa Barbara or Ventura. And with the expansion, great deal of stores are now in those two places and it opens up the possibility to possibly move to Santa Barbara even if I don't get a spot in LA to transfer to in the coming months. I think I am just ready to be closer to the city life because I prefer it.... less drama (no one has time or cares), and the opportunities to seek what I truly and really want to do for the long term.

I think this is all stuff I should be praying about and do. I know I am here in the right now, and it is all good. Being able to be close to my two best friends who are getting married and other things I have taken on... but once those are done... my plan is to not commit to anything and be ready for anything that could lead to the "next thing" in my life.